Day 4: Normalcy

I'm beginning to get spoiled by Fall in August. It was beautiful and cool, and it was dark by 7:30. Here I thought I was going to miss having a Fall and God goes and gives me one.

We hashed out some schedule changes at the studio today. Overall, I'm excited about where we're heading and I must say that getting to go through this process is an incredible experience.

I had been running the studio alone for several weeks, and though it was stressful, it wasn't a bad stress. But it was interesting and disturbing to not be able to enjoy dance. I couldn't concentrate in class because I was constantly worried about whether a nail was going to pop through the floor (an effect of the new floor settling) or if someone would be towed for parking incorrectly or if my front desk person had enough petty cash, had everyone signed a release, etc... I was glad that I could multitask, answer questions, and keep everything going, but I was missing the joy that comes from completely letting go and going wherever the experience takes you. It feels really good to have Ryan & Kct back. We're all still adjusting. They are adjusting to not being consumed with NYC and the phenomenal undertaking that was the T project. I'm adjusting to the fact that although I now know every centimeter of that studio, can put my hands on anything without having to think about where it is and have created an airtight system of payroll, class tracking, filing etc... I no longer have to do it alone.

Tonight I took class and was able to concentrate on movement and corrections and my biggest external concern was reopening the burns on my elbows and knees. I gave in and experienced joy.

After class I enjoyed conversation and a dinner full of laughter with Maurice and Austin. My first time eating pho and I LOVED it! I could eat it everyday! Since it's cheap and within walking distance of the studio, I may do just that.

R, K and I got the Christmas calendar done and I will be home from the 23rd to the 1st. I'm expecting a phone call from my sister on Thursday. Praying for good news.

Today was normal. And that is all kinds of good.

Day 3: Reality.

Reality is perceptions shattered. Even the perceptions of ones who are defined by the perceptions of others. Especially those.

Day 2: 66 Degrees

The original forecast for today was high 90's, and I had planned a morning hike, so in an effort to beat the heat I rolled out of bed at 8am, donned my hiking gear (jazz pants and a tank top) and covered every inch of my exposed skin in gobs 50spf sunscreen. I understand now why they make special sunscreen chapstick for your lips. That stuff tastes like battery acid. I looked positively iridescent but I was super proud of my advanced sun protection until I stepped out of the door.

Today's weather never got above 66 degrees.

I am a G.R.I.T.S (girl raised in the south) through and through, and I enjoy the dog days of summer. They bring back memories of sticky August evenings spent hanging out in the rocking chairs on my Grandmommy's porch, the smell of dinner cooking in her kitchen, The Jefferson's and Judge Wapner on TV. My Granddaddy keeping cool by drinking ice water out of the glass jug he kept in the refrigerator. Sitting barefoot around the kitchen table with the sliced tomatoes on my plate that I initially hated but learned to enjoy.

I must admit though that California weather is capturing this girl's heart. This was a picture perfect Fall day. It was cold in August. I wore a hoodie. Tonight in Trader Joe's a lady had on a turtleneck. In August. This weather is the most wonderful gift of absolute mind-numbing absurdity.

My hike was great. I listened to Michael Jackson, Rascal Flatts and Boys II Men, climbed at a respectable pace, dropped my keys, breathed in crisp cool air, dropped my coin purse, grinned at fellow hikers, tripped over rocks, looked at horses and got tangled up in my iPod cord.

After 45 minutes of climbing, I saw this on the steepest part of the mountain leading up to the peak:

I don't know where he entered the trail, but as I stumbled up (as I always do on this part) sliding on sand and rocks, this elderly man and his cane went up with ease. He smiled at me as I took my place next to him on the bench and for a few minutes we both enjoyed the view.

Today California felt like home.

Day 1

Happy New Year.

For the next 365 days I will be journaling online. My goal is to keep track of myself, appreciate the crazy goodness of life and hold myself accountable for the choices I make. I am trading my cloak of silence for ones of honesty, openness and courage. Be patient. New wardrobes always require a period of adjustment.

365 days begins now.

Thanks for reading along.
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This morning as I stood in my room after my shower, I glanced over my shoulder and saw this:

This is Josephine. She is the resident cat at the castle, and she nearly gave me a coronary. She roams all over Hollywood and only comes home to eat. Because her owner lives on the second floor, Josephine gets into the building through whatever open window she can find. Still wrapped in my towel and already running late, I spent the next 10 minutes coaxing this kitty out of the apartment. I finally picked her up, carried her to the door and deposited her into the hallway. As I stood up I realized that I had also deposited my towel.

Day 1: Public nudity.

I've been feeling lonely, melancholy, exhausted and homesick. I've been questioning whether being away from my family and friends is worth the effort of building a life here. My Six Monthiversary sent me reeling.

But I believe that a certain amount of reeling is good for growth.

The strongest shiniest plants afterall, begin their lives as seeds buried in a pile of manure.