Day 8: My Mama Did the Best She Could With the Child She Was Given

I have not been on my best behavior.

I left out some details yesterday because I am ashamed. But I promised honesty, so in an effort to keep my word, here's what happened at the studio last night:

Although I'm pretty organized, the minutea of payroll day stretches my sanity to its absolute limits. Last night my sanity broke. 

Instructor B is a sweetie whose class I enjoy. He's always upbeat and friendly though I've noticed that he particularly enjoys my Payroll Day Altered Mental State.

As he was leaving the studio last night, he caught me mid PDAMS meltdown and the following exchange occured:

B: (jokingly) "You are too cute when you're all stressed out over payroll."
K: "I am not stressed out." (spoken with a full blown facial scowl through clenched teeth and stationary lips) "AND I'M NOT CUTE!" I hollered at him while running towards the window, stopping just short of pounding my fist on the glass.

and while i'm confessing i might as well mention that i growled at a lady at trader joes last week because she asked me to move my car when i was clearly blocked in and yes by growl i mean a lips pulled back over teeth neck lunged forward no sound a human being should ever make guttural groan.

Because that's the kind of ugly that lives and breathes within.

But today I was good!

• I got up early to move my car for street cleaning day and although the streets never actually look clean, I didn't grumble about it once.
• I decided it was probably not a good idea to yell out of my window at the person who stole the parking place that he didn't know I'd reserved on my previous drive around the block.
• I smiled at strangers as I ate my bowl of pho and drank my apple juice.
• I walked by our neighbors storefront, an amazingly badass vintage tshirt shop where I will be doing a lot of Christmas shopping, and laughed with one of the owners as his friend, a big shirtless man in black booty shorts and a pink bandana, danced around the store to 'Grove is in the Heart'.

Though I'm feeling a little homesick, I'm keeping my focus forward. I miss home everyday, but living in L.A. is best for my life right now, so I am grateful for this opportunity.

And I'm really looking forward to tomorrow morning's hike.